MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!

Not paying any attention to the world around me much less my lead foot, I flew past a Sheriff's officer going well over the speed limit. When he simultaneously screeched to a halt and did a 180 I contemplated just pulling over before he even hit his lights. But, MAYBE just MAYBE he may not pull me over?!?! I hoped. No such luck. So, he hit his lights I hit the blinker as we both pulled off the road into someones driveway (hope they weren't so bored that I become their nights entertainment. How embarrassing). Flipping the glove box open, I grab the little envelope from the DMV that conveniently holds my registration and insurance card. My heart really dropped as I examined the envelope's contents. It contained an expired insurance card! Nice, I thought, this officer is gonna have a blast tonight! Especially since I could have been arrested on account of two offences, excessive speeding and not carrying proof of insurance. Thankfully, I eventually discovered that I had the old DMV envelope, the new one was still in the glove box holding my current information.
Then, the tide shifted a bit. I knew it was a good sign when I realized I knew the officer from my job (me servicing him, NOT the other way around!). A more promising sign of a bad situation turning good was his sense of humor, he was actually laughing as he asked if I knew why he pulled me over (one of the craziest questions I think officers have to ask). The situation got even better as he returned to my car WITHOUT a long carbon copy document waiting for my John Henry and asked "Are you related to Brenda Scheid by any chance?" Um, yea, she's my aunt! Turns out, she's above him at the Sheriff's department and the Sheriff, well, he's basically my uncle :)
I could have received a hefty fine for this little incident, but my God was gracious enough to allow the officer to be an acquaintance of mine and a friend of my aunt, who is a fantastic person (love you Aunti!). It was a nice comic relief from the day as well. Well, comic in the sense that the situation could have been horrid but turned out a-ok, after a day of one mishap after another; realizing my need for a Spanish tutor after receiving my failing grade in my Spanish class was one such event.
So, once again, I'm reminded of my God's love for me, which in this situation is manifest two fold. First, I did not have to pay what would have been an exorbitant moving traffic violation fee. Secondly, I am taking steps to curb this horrid speeding habit of mine. Such situations cannot keep turning out this well...............
As a friend of mine said, at least its only Monday and the week has plenty of time to improve!!!!

Change....

...and no, I'm not referring to the jingling articles in your car's ash tray :). Its this dynamic little thing that follows and preceeds our lives. Most of us have heard the saying, "The only constant thing in life is change." Our constant companion, it shifts the sands of our lives issuing the challenge, can you shift with me?

As a child, change is often viewed as exciting, the chance for new adventures, new friends, new likes/dislikes, new territory to explore, new places to explore, new and exciting things to learn, etc. Yet, as we grow older, we tend to focus less on the 'glass-is-half-full-perspective' and more on the 'glass-is-half-empty-perspective,' especially if one buys into the lie that the lives of everyone else are changing for the better while theirs changes only for the worse.

Take for instance, the change one experiences when their best friend marries and they remain single, or a dearly-loved friend/relative/spouse passes away while they are left to manage a life without them, a close friend(s) moves away or leaves the faith they once held so dear leaving another to mentally re-arrange this relationship and balance it and its suddenly new dimensions, the breaking off of a romantic relationship or distancing one's self from a 'friend' who is becoming too attached leaving in its wake (for both parties) the numerous negotiations of this altered relationship, the altercation that arises out of realizing that firmly held ideas/definitions/assumptions are horrendously inept thus forcing a re-alignment and re-focusing of beleifs, and the list could go on and on.

Within this moment of change, the space of time in which an individual comes face to face with this new color of the spectrum brought forth by the rotation of this diamond, their is a decision made to either allow the death of the former as well as what could be the future or seek out the paradigm existance of new found territory.

I am especially reminded of one particular instance in my life where drastic change was no longer an option to revive a very dear relationship in my life. It had gone past needing change, it had gone dormant and now necessitated life. This resusitation did not come about by a purposefully constructed reunion or by a heart to heart talk or by an apology for past hurts. No, it arose again by the power of The Creator. The vast chasm that had pushed the lives of this dear friend and I apart was so wide I was incapable of fathoming the construction of a bridge to reunite us, though I thought and pondered on it often. It did not come about through such logical construction either. The chasm was not only bridged but filled in and healed with fresh growing grass and beauty in one alter service on a Sunday night when the one friend of mine that sees me as clearly as a friend may be seen, flaws and all, and still loves me, came to stand by my side during a time when I felt, at any moment, that I would split in two due to a horrendous amount of change I was going through in another area of my life.

A turning of the tables, though it may seem like its turning will upend and spill the contents of you life's board game all across the floor may actually be the propelling force that injects an altercation that is your saving grace. I sometimes wonder at this reunion, at the circumstances surrounding it, at the wholeness with which I felt our friendship restored to. This change, the re-instating of our friendship, was a key element that strengthened me to not only survive but thrive within the other changing situation I mentioned.

The retort we must issue back to change's challenge of, "Can you survive me?" is, "It is not a matter of can I, rather a matter of I must, and I will, according to His will."

P.S. To my friend (you know who you are :D) thank you for being my iron, I hope I am as solid and as strong for you.

Asking for that which you seek believing it will be opened to you.

In this journey of life as a Christian I seek to please my heavenly Father. Part of pleasing Him is living the life, fulfilling the purpose and walking in the path for which He has created me and me alone for. Living a mediocre life is of no appeal to me, hence the only life for me is one of purpose, and the highest and most desirous purpose is that which God wants me to fulfill. Hence, for as long as I can remember, the pursuit of realizing this purpose has been at the forefront of my life.
I remember struggling, from a young teenager until very recently, with the question, "How do I find the will of God?" The problem with this question is this, it leaves me in control. Its still about ME, how doe 'I' find the will of God? Yet, throughout scripture, it is not by our hands that our lives are put together.

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? Matthew 7:7-11

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33

In both of these scriptures, the one in pursuit of something has now power over that which they seek to obtain. The only with this power is He from whence it comes. It is not up to me to figure out, guess, analyze or conjure up God's will for my life as if it is some new mathematical equation. If I ask in faith of Him who is faithful, He will answer my prayers. "Ask and it shall be given you," can you have the faith in your God that He hears, answers and will reveal to you the plan that is already in place? "Seek and ye shall find..." Not maybe, not might, not possibly, but SHALL. The question is, how bad do you want it? Seeking is not for the casual browser, the name-it-claim-it-blab-it-grab it type. Seeking takes time, dedication, earnest, strong desire and anyone lacking this will soon give up chase and settle for second best. So, again, I repeat, how bad do you want this? In order to obtain that which you seek, you have to seek it with more fervor than you cling to what you already have. "Knock and the door shall be opened unto you..." I knock, He opens. Knocking on a door requires expectancy. Would you knock at a door expecting it to never open? Of course not, if that were the case, there would never be that knock. Yet, once the knuckles have the rapped upon the oak door, even if ever so slightly and timidly, faith has entered the picture, faith that the One dwelling within will open the door and draw you in.
Can you believe? Do you desire what God has in store for you more than you enjoy your current station in life? Can you muster up enough faith to simply rap upon the doors of His throne room? If you do, you will see His ways, you will know His will, in His timing.

Fingers to keys, phone to my ear, eyes drifting to and fro in my room, I have to admit it. I have had serious writers block this entire summer. Its maddening. That idea, that thought which may be inspiration, seems to spiral twist build culminate only to die and disperse into nothing once I try to form it, construct it and define it on paper. Thats it, the defining it. Thats where I struggle. I try too hard, and in trying so hard it becomes more elusive, slipping further and further out of my reach until I wonder if the thought was ever even there, was it real? Was it any good? Was it so horrible that I just gave up on it before embarrarsing myself? Bone upon bone, I think thats how Keats describes it, thats what it feels like at times when trying to produce and formulate my thoughts (no blonde jokes here). Grinding, unrelenting, unyielding seems this process right now, yet it retains enough of an enticement to keep me trying to push past it all.

This too shall pass.

Lightning......and me :\

I am scared to death of lightning. Far and most definitely near, it gives me the shivers, brings on panic, and forces me to seek shelter in any area of my home that sports no windows. That would include but is not limited to hallways, stairways, garage (the only freaky thing about that is the lightning can cause the garage door to open, AAAHHHH!), laundry room, under beds and other pieces of large and seemingly safe furniture. So, by now I am sure you have guessed that I REALLY REALLY REALLY dislike this stuff. Why do I bring this up now? We had a whopping lightning storm earlier this evening, WOW. God is awesome and His handiwork is marvelous, but I'll prefer to admire His pyro show from a much safer place like heaven :). A friend of mine recently instructed me to do the following to over come my fear, here goes, she said, " "Embrass it....go outside sit on your car...hold a fork ;0) and let the good times roll." Having the very vivid imagination that I do, allow me to paint for you with words the picture that immediatly entered my mind upon hearing this advice........
I'm sitting in my house, and the previously light windows are increasingly darkening. Thus, the rooms are growing more gray and black as well. Upon looking out the window, I see the sky is fading from the brilliant blue to a smokey grey, to a deep haunting black. The serene scene is shattered by a steak of power slashing across the sky. The night is further disrupted by the announcement of its departure with a rumbling roar, more incredible than that of the lion deep in the heart of his jungle. I start to scat for the nearest haven, yet stop midstride. I pull myself erect, stretch full my immense height, and turn. I face the window as would two gunfighters in the dusty streets of the old west. I march to the silverware drawer, command it open under my firm and deteremined hand. Purposefully a fork is withdrawn, I hold it up to the light, admiring the way the lightning galnces, glitters and dances off its pristine surface. Heading for the door I momentarily hesitate, wondering if this is the best idea?!?!?!? Shaking doubt from the cobwebs of my mind, I push on through and out the door. I sit atop my car, first on the roof then settle for the hood. Waiting. Waiting for the first streak of lightning to dare to show its face to me, the determined warder off of silly fears. Silence. Nothing. KABLOOM!!! rings in my ears instantanously with the whipping silver cord of glittering power as it rips apart the pristine velvet sky spiriling in tocirles then splitting in multiple directions. But do I catch all of this? Eh, NO. Why? In the same nano-second that my brain registered the sound of thunder and the streak of lightning, I lept striaght up in the air like a cat just zapped with a cattle prod, complete with contorted face, hair standing on end creating an impressive 5 ft high blonde afro. I beleive my nails also grew, similar to the extended claws of the cat. My decent was equally ungraceful as I landed on the roof of my car and tried to jump off so I could run for cover. Alas, the car was wet from the rain (comes with storms, imagine that) causing my foot to shoot out from under me with the speed of a canon ball as I slid face first down my windshield, nose dived into the wipe blades subsequently flipping end over front and finishing the show with shooting off the sloped hood of the car. Oh, yea, that fork? Remember the fork? The retarted instrument that started all of these good times rolling? It is now a permanent fixture of my long locs. Moral of the story, leave forks in the drawer where they belong and forget trying to over come this severe aversion to whipping, sparkling fingers of power streaking across the sky.

Repeating History

"Those that do not know history are bound to repeat it." Unknown
This quote rings true through the ages. Especially in our current age. We live in a society where individuals are willing to accept what is being fed to their minds. They are told what they should see in the figures they look to, the laws being passed, the state of the economy, the faith they choose to follow, the norms, etc. To do so, one must also simultaneously abandon the evidence, that is within the grasp of anyone who so chose to seek it out, contradicting what one is told to see. Therefore, we are becoming the blind leading the blind. The blind that do not see the true way because they are blinded by their personal agenda, greed, or any number of reasons. Their followers are blind because they have beleived a lie and and do not yea even cannot see the truth, hence their path is one created by falsehoods. When the blind leads the blind, they both fall in the ditch.
What ditch is this country, yea, world headed for?